i always do this.

but why is still a mystery to me.  drives me crazy when i cant figure out the rational behind the reason i do the things i do. for example: right now, i am tired. if i crawled in bed right now, i would fall asleep immediately.  but no. i get on this computer just outside my bedroom door, curl up in this comfortable couch, and blog (or read, but tonight its blog).  it is my believe that some of my best ideas come at these moments of the day (which is perhaps sufficient reasoning).  i blog to document thoughts, sometimes release frustration, and because i enjoy writing to no one in particular at all.  i’ve really been working on my attitude and perspective lately. well, ultimately i pray that the Lord changes both of those things in me, but without getting hyper-spiritual on you i will also say that it has just been a conscious effort.  it really has been miraculous.  just as an example, me and two of my best childhood friends were planning a “girls weekend” recently, and i was really looking forward to spending time with just them.  they are both married, and one lives in lubbock (i know… no comments even needed because i know what your thinking).  well, to try to make the long story short, as soon as we decided to go sans husbands (not hard for me), they started inviting some of their other girlfriends to come. initially, i was kinda bummed and a little errked that not only would we have more than just us, but these were girls i really wasnt close to, and they never asked my opinion on it prior to inviting them. dont get me wrong, i had met them before and thought they were great and had absolutely nothing against them- wonderful girls, but there just wasnt the same friendship connections.  and then i realized how much of a box i had already put myself by thinking that way. what if we have girls weekend and i discover i had a blast with both my old friends, and developed a deeper friendship with these new girls? what was so wrong with that? and so what if i dont? what if i just make up my mind to have a great time and at the very least develope a better understanding of personality differences and how that makes us strong as people and encouragers? so that was what i did, and now im really excited about it.  and you know, i enjoy life a lot more this way.  so if you see me, ask me how im doing with my perspective today and tell me to change one thing. 

 

ps- i am a wee bit ashamed to tell you that i voted for like a solid hour on american idol. redial, redial, redial.  brooke white all the way baby! i know it wont happen, but i love singer/songwriters.